February 17th 2010

मराठी उखाणे

MSEB च्या तारेवर टाकला होता आकडा…
लग्नच माझे नाही ठरले तर नाव कोणाचे घेऊ रे माकडा…!
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अमेरिकेचे प्रेसिडेण्ट आहेत बुश
सुंदर मुलगी दिसताच **** राव एकदम खुष !!
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***रावांची थोरवी मी सांगत नाही
कितीही प्याले तरीही ते कधीही झिंगत नाहीत !!
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इराण्याच्या चहा बरोबर मिळतो मस्का पाव
**** रावांची बाहेर किती लफडी ते विचारू नका राव !!
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April 5th 2009

पीजे

दारू सोडायचा सोप्पा मार्ग :

लग्न व्हायच्या आधी फक्तदु:खी असाल, त्याक्षणी दारू प्या,

आणि लग्न झाल्यावर……….

फक्त आनंदाच्या क्षणी.

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नाग पंचमीच्या विरुद्ध काय

नाग डोण्ट पंच मी.

(Ma. Ta. Warun)

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March 10th 2009

Teacher student jokes

Teacher: ‘What is your name?’
Student: ‘Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.’
Teacher: ‘When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.’
Student: ‘My name is Sunlight.

Teacher: ‘What is your name?’.
Student: ‘My name is Beautiful Red Underwear’
Teacher: ‘What kind of a name is this? Don’t joke tell me the right name’
Student: ‘My name is Sunderlal Chadda.”

Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

Teacher: What is the full form of maths?

Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE

Teacher: Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday

Teacher: ‘Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? ‘

Johnny: ‘Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.’

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?

Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg…Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

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